Deliciously Evil
by Hecateslover
Summary: HPLV slash of the hilarious kind.
1. Delicious Dreams

**This popped into my head a few months ago. I hope you like. HPLV warning! Graphic stuff too...**

**I know you guys are anxious to read updates on my other stories, but I just had to share!**

Voldemort sighed as he crossed his legs, his long spidery fingers tightening on the arm rest of his chair. He was terribly bored. Bellatrix was casting cruciatus on a prisoner, as usual, and the screams didn't excite him as much as they used to.

Not even the tears or the begging. Some of his followers looked to him expectantly, wondering what he was going to have her do next. He exhaled. "I'm bored. Kill the man off." He said shortly, standing from his chair and taking his bottle of wine with him. The entire bottle. Perhaps getting drunk and hexing Lucius might help a bit.

He retreated to his room and poured himself a glass, glancing at himself in the mirror, his lip curling at the sight of it. It was nice, at first, to have a face like this, very frightening, but when it prohibited him to go out of his own home because of the neighbors screaming…well, that just got a bit old after a while.

--

He glared at the bottle of wine. It was ¾ empty now. He was still bored. He could feel the alcohol running through his system, and he didn't even want to hex Lucius for something. He flopped onto his bed, scowling at the ceiling. He smirked. Maybe he ought to play with Potter's mind a bit. He concentrated on the link.

Hah! The boy was dreaming, no doubt. Let's see…out by the lake at the school. He'd always liked that place. Night time. Hexing bugs. He smirked. It looked like Potter was bored as well. Then his two friends came up. He'd seen them many times before in Potter's dreams, but he never got their names right. He nicknamed the bushy haired girl 'helper' and the red head one 'doofus'.

He rather liked helper, she reminded him of a female Severus, like a walking encyclopedia, sometimes literally. Doofus had yet to prove himself of worthiness. He felt Potter's dream change. He smirked as he saw a bed and bare legs. Ah, the wonders of adolescence… he wondered if it would be that red head girl that always hung out with doofus, or perhaps even Helper, but he had a feeling there was nothing more than familial between them…

He moved closer and merely raised an eyebrow. Potter was with another dark haired man, their face hidden, both of them whispering fervently. From behind, he did not recognize the young man, was this some secret lover Potter had stashed away-

Potter himself was rather attractive, he supposed, like this, his glasses off and hair wild…he quickly looked away from the boy and his curiousity grew stronger as Potter spoke in parseltongue. "_I'm bored, let's do something different." _

What he did not expect was the lover to reply back "_Its your fault there aren't any more firsties to hex, you got them all last night, they still have to recover-"_

They both laughed, and Voldemort looked on, incredulous, as the lover pulled away, revealing himself as a young man.

He let himself fall back out of the dream in surprise, and stared up at the ceiling. "What the hell was that?" He whispered.

--

Harry woke slowly from his dream. It was different this time. Before, the dreams of himself and Voldemort had always been about sex, but this time there had been a…camaraderie to it. It was odd, thinking that you have something in common with your greatest enemy, but it was true.

He'd done a delightful job of covering it up too. Since he'd met the memory of Voldemort back in his second year, he'd been fascinated by the man. He knew that the man was an orphan, just like he, and that'd he'd been bullied as a child and called a freak. He could definitely relate to that. He sat up slowly, running a hand through his hair.

When he was younger, it was like he had a secret friend in the back of his mind, a distant fuzziness that seemed to be there to keep him company on his loneliest days. It also helped fuel his darker passions. He wanted to know things. Everything he could know, he strived to learn it. It wasn't in an entirely bookish way, he preferred to learn by experience.

He had experimented with the house elves, who were all too happy to help and keep his secrets, as he would never purposefully hurt them. None of the other students, or professors, for that matter, talked to them as much as he, and they were awfully lonely, and sometimes they would even assist him in his endevors on the other students...they were rather devious little creatures.

He had a slight reprieve when he'd met Luna last year, delightful girl, highly intelligent and always highly entertaining to have around. But even she must sleep sometimes, and it was nights like this he longed to have someone here with him.

Hermoine was good, for all of her books and knowledge, and she didn't shy away from the dark magic just because it was called dark. Of course, no one knew that but Harry, not even Hermoine. They both shared the idea, along with Luna, that magic was magic, not specifically light or dark. Ironically enough, Harry had kept this from Hermoine, for fear of anyone else finding out.

He sighed, leaning against his bedpost. There was one thing he longed to know of, something he knew he would never learn of here. Love. Not the mere crushes and lust that seemed to fly around the school, much of it flung at him and the other heart throbs, but true love. It was hopelessly romantic and idealistic, but…the sad thing was, the closest thing he came to feeling love was in his dreams of Voldemort.

He'd often wondered what the man would look like if he was human once more, probably just as handsome as he was when he was younger. He sighed wistfully. He wished to see it one day.

--

Voldemort paced his room, hands clasped behind his back, brow furrowed. Severus had been good enough to leave a hang over potion on his bedside table this morning, and now having full clarity to think of this situation, he…still didn't know what to think of it.

Potter and he…together? Ridiculous. Was the first thought. But the boy looked quite beautiful, even more so if he was cleaned up a bit. But that made him think of the boy's thought processes for him to come up with a dream lover like himself.

Either he had a death wish, or he was darker than everyone thought he was. He sincerely hoped it was the latter, he could just imagine the boy dueling, his green eyes glittering with power, oh, it would be so-

"Tom?"

Severus was at the doorway, watching him carefully. "Yes, what is it? I'm plotting." The evil lord snapped, red eyes flashing.

Severus looked down. "Sorry. I know how you don't like to be interrupted with your plotting, but I must be going back to the school soon."

"Of course, go on then. Cant keep the old man waiting."

Severus nodded curtly and left quickly. Voldemort smiled. Severus was always so short with words and always got straight to the point. Much better than Lucius in some ways. He sat down at the desk and steepled his fingers. "What to do with you Potter?" He whispered.

Then he came up with a marvelous idea and started drawing up his plans. If Potter was attracted to him in some secret way…why not use that to gain him as an ally?

--

Harry sighed as he and Hermoine waited for Ron to barrel down the stairs so they could go onto breakfast. Ron finally came down, and Harry and Hermoine exchanged an amused look. Sometimes Ron looked like a toddler, with his mussed hair and rumpled clothes. It was like having an overgrown child, which Ron really was. It amused Harry to no end, and quite enjoyed the bickering between the red head and Hermoine.

He loved it when her hand twitched sometimes, knowing she wanted to cast something a little sketchy on the boy….Harry would just give her a small smile, and she would give a slightly confused one back. Yes, Harry had even tricked her.

But since he'd been rather bored lately, he needed someone to confide in. Luna was often unavailable, as she was in a different house and year, with no classes together, they could only meet in secret. And he wanted to talk to Hermoine about something other than 'classwork' and Ron.

They had a free period together before lunch, while Ron was in another class. They often spent it in the library. As they walked there together, Harry pulled her by the arm past their table into a wall. She gasped, slightly surprised as they just passed right through it, into a small antechamber with a loveseat, shelves of books, and stacks of papers.

"What is this place?" She whispered, eyes wide.

Harry grinned, sitting down. "Found it. So, Hermoine, read any good books lately?"

Hermoine rolled her eyes, sitting down. "Of course I have, I just let you borrow-"

"Your…other booklist Hermoine." Harry said with a small smirk.

The froze midsentence. "How did you…"

Harry waved it off. "I'm not going to tell on you or anything. I just thought it was rather funny that we end up reading a lot of the same books, and here I am with no one to talk to about them, and here you are, keeping it a secret."

Hermoine looked down. "You know how people feel about dark magic. They think it's…"

"Horrible. Well, my dear, I don't think we think that way." He said quietly. She stared at him with bright eyes.

"But I mean, you're Harry Potter-"

"And you're a muggle born. So what? We can learn what we like, no one can stop us if they don't know."

She smiled, and then he did as well. "So why did you bring me here?" She asked quietly, looking around.

"Just wanted a place to talk. I've just been thinking….what are your thoughts about love?"

She stared at him. "Harry….I don't like you like that…." She finally said reluctantly.

Harry laughed. "Nor do I, you're like a sister to me. I was just asking what you thought of it."

She looked slightly relieved, then thoughtful. "Well…I think it's about compatibility. Someone who you can connect with, someone who gets you really well, of course, someone you can be attracted to…someone you can talk to for hours and never get bored…and of course the sex." She said frankly, not one to mince words.

Harry grinned. "That's what I want. But…what if I want someone who's…"

"What?" Hermoine said, eyeing him carefully.

"Erm…male, for one. And…a lot of people don't like him…."

She made a face. "Please don't tell me you like Malfoy."

"Ew, no. No, it's just Tom."

She stared. "Just….Tom? As in Tom Riddle? Lord Voldemort, holder of many nicknames?"

Harry nodded, looking away. "If you're…disgusted-"

"It sort of makes sense actually." Hermoine said, curling her feet under her, twining her fingers together. "I mean, you already have this…connection. Not that I believe much in prophecies, mind you, but…there is some sort of connection between the two of you."

"But he hates me! He always tries to kill me when he sees me." Harry whined.

Hermoine giggled.

--

"You called?" Severus said, entering Voldemort's chambers. Severus was one of the few of his followers he trusted enough to enter his rooms, and he when Voldemort sent for him, he knew something important was going to happen.

"I want to look human again. I don't know what I was thinking when I made my face this way, it was cool for a while, scaring everyone, but I've gotten bored with it." Voldemort said, looking at himself in a hand mirror. "I want hair again." He said, his palm smoothing over his bald head.

Severus arched a brow. "If you wish. It will take two months, at least, to prepare the brews…"

"Do it. It will give me time to prepare."

"For what?" Severus asked, slightly unsure.

Voldemort smirked. "Ah, ah, that is a surprise. Let me know if there is any trouble getting ingredients, I will make it happen."

--

**I laughed my ass off while writing this. It amuses me greatly. I hope you laugh too, it makes me feel all warm and gooey inside. **

**Like a chocolate chip cookie right out of the oven.**

**Hmm...cookies.**


	2. Deliciously Attractive

**Chapter Two: Deliciously Attractive**

**I was pleased to see all of the reviews, they were quite lovely. I baked cookies for all of you, but I sort of ate them all myself. Sorry, they were sugar cookies, my favorite! Now I feel awful, and promise to bake some more. Pretty please check out my other stories, they're pretty awesome, if I say so myself!**

--

Harry watched Luna run her hands over the slackened body of the house elf, checking its status. They were in the room of requirement, practicing. There was a glow to the girl's silver eyes that not many people saw. She was kneeling by the house elf, watching it carefully as it's eyes fluttered open.

"Mistress Luna? I is good?" The elf said weakly.

Luna nodded with a slight curve to her lips. "The tests went fine Thimble, you performed admirably." She said softly, helping the house elf up, pouring another potion down it's throat. The elf smiled brightly at her with shining eyes, gave a beaming smile to Harry, then popped out.

The house elves loved Luna and Harry. No one knew about what house elves were put on earth for originally, but Harry and Luna had found yet another use for them that they were more than happy to provide.

Conduits for magic.

Really powerful ones. Their strong loyalty to their families and homes gave them strong empathetic skills, as well as strong connections to natural magic, like the magic of ley lines.

Harry and Luna treated the elves like they wanted to be treated. Useful little beings that wanted to be cared for, but still wanted to help in any way. He knew that neither he or Luna were abusing them in any way, it was actually making the elves stronger, more resistant to outside magic. Their tests concluded this, among many other things.

Luna tiredly flopped next to him on the couch, her thin legs curled up under her, pressing against the side of Harry. Harry gave her a small smile, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I told Hermoine about me."

She looked at him in surprise. "When?"

"A week ago. She was terribly happy, now that she has someone to talk to about things…" Luna gave him a small smile, knowing that when she'd confronted Harry all those years ago, he was having the same troubles.

"Did you tell her about me?"

"Not yet. Would you like for me to?"

She looked thoughtful, bowing her head, her long blonde hair slipping in front of her face. "No. I think I'd like to tell her myself."

Harry ran a hand through her hair. "Okay. So, how do you think the testing went?"

"Thimble comes from a good background. You were right about the telepathy Harry." Harry's emerald eyes shone.

"You think it's possible to develop it in humans?"

She shrugged. "We'll have to do some more tests, I think if it was blood relations, or perhaps a magically bonded couple, it might work…"

They talked a bit more until they knew they would be missed, and left the Room of Requirement.

--

Bella tried to keep a scowl from appearing on her face. "My Lord, when will we start our next attack?"

Voldemort sighed. This had been the sixth time the harpy had asked him that question in the past week, and he'd tell her again. "I'm still making plans Bella, big plans. Be patient."

She looked cowed, and simpered at his feet before leaving the room, to escape his cruciatus. Severus was the only one left remaining in the room. "My Lord." He approached him, digging out a small satchel.

"Here are several of the preparatory potions for you. Just remember, take three drops of each, each night until they are completely empty. It should take two weeks. After that, I'll be able to make the potions for the next stage."

Voldemort took them into his hands with a clinical eye, holding them up to the light. Not that he didn't trust Severus, it was just that he knew the potions looked rather amazing, some of them looked like molten gold, others a simmering blue… this was going to be a long process, but it was worth it in the end.

"Thank you Severus. This pleases me."

Severus bowed his head for a moment. "May I ask sir…why now?"

Voldemort considered telling Severus of his plans. "I wish to be respected again." He said simply. "A respect so great that they will willingly follow me and my plans. I no longer wish to have followers with me because they fear me…it could lead to treachery." He murmured, running a spindly finger over the glass vial.

He met Severus' eyes. "Thank you Severus. You are invaluable."

The man's onyx eyes grew warm, and he could tell the normally stoic man was pleased. "Thank you, my Lord."

Voldemort waved him off, taking the satchel with him to his rooms.

--

Harry stunned fireflies idly as he laid on the grass, feeling eyes on his form. The teen version of Tom Riddle laid beside him, doing the same. The fireflies lit up their skin, making them glow in the darkness. Their eyes met, and they both lowered their wands. "What do you want from life Harry?"

-

Voldemort smiled in his sleep. He just found out how to reach through the boy. He'd have to do this carefully, or else Potter would figure it out.

-

Harry watched the boy next to him carefully. "To be free of…many things. Responsibilities that most people set upon me… just to be left alone."

The boy reached forward, running a hand through his messy hair. "What of us?"

"This is a dream Tom, you'll never be real to me." Harry whispered as they drew close together.

Their lips touched, hands searching over shoulders and skin. Their lips departed, panting, their foreheads touching, Harry's scar tingling pleasantly. "This real enough for you?" Tom whispered.

-

Harry bolted up from his sleep, holding his blankets around him tightly, eyes wide. His scar was still tingling, not aching as it used to. His breathing calmed, and listened to his roommates snores on the other sides of his curtains. Something was different about that dream….but he was too tired to think of it just yet.

-

Harry stopped short as he saw Hermoine and Luna talking to each other quietly in the library, exchanging whispers in between bookshelves. He approached them, and both girls' heads snapped towards him, their shoulders tensing. They eased a bit, upon seeing him, and he gave them a shy smile.

"Hello girls."

"Harry. What are your plans for Hogsmeade weekend?" Luna asked amiably.

Harry shrugged. "Not planning on going, actually."

Hermoine wove her arm in his with a smile. "You're coming. Ron's going to want to drag me to the quidditch store, and who knows what else, I think if you come, I might be able to get away easier."

Luna latched onto his other side with a playful smile. "And of course, I'll be there too."

Harry swallowed hard, wondering why he had a foreboding feeling in his stomach. "Um…guys…"

Hermoine winked at him. "Harry sweetie, you're 17 years old, you've been on one disastrous date in your entire life, with Cho Chang of all people."

Luna spoke up, looking him over. "By the time we're finished people will want to be all over you…" Harry flushed.

"But…"

Hermoine rolled her eyes. "Not just that way…if you are somewhat more presentable looking, more people will take you seriously, don't you want to get a job after you graduate?"

Harry got a pained look on his face, both girls catching it. Hermoine sighed, and both girls led him out of the library.

They began to walk outside on the grounds. "Think about it Harry. You draw enough public attraction as it is…why not get it on your own merits?" Luna said, cocking her head.

Harry frowned. "What do you think I've been doing? I mean, I've got nearly as good of grades as Hermoine-"

"It's the looks, Harry." Hermoine said patiently, stopping out to look over the lake.

"People only take me seriously because I show them how smart I am all the time. But the drawback to that is that I'm seen as a know it all bookworm…" A pained look crossed her face. "Seen as nothing more than a brain. All I'm destined for is something in the background, especially with my bloodlines and looks."

She looked to Harry, covering his mouth to shut his protests. "It's true. Your father came from a good pureblood background, and your Mother could have been one of the youngest Charms mistresses in Hogwart's history. You have the fame, you could probably get any job you wanted." Her brown eyes bore into his. "But if you want to be a true leader in this war, in the Magical Community, you'll have to be even greater."

Luna nodded solemnly. "People would flock to your side if you took yourself seriously, and looked fantastic while doing it. People are shallow, but you can't help that."

Harry was frankly frightened by the looks on the girl's faces…when had they become so…loyal to him? They trusted him so much…he felt a little lightheaded, and tried to bolster himself up.

"Are you two just saying this so I'll agree to go clothes shopping with you?"

Luna giggled, and Hermoine cracked a smile, their serious expressions gone. "Maybe."

--

Voldemort's stomach twisted, making him spring up from his bed in the middle of the night to throw up. On his knees in front of the toilet, he saw that he was throwing up something bright silver, nearly glowing in the darkness. He breathed heavily as pain spread through his body. As he leant into the cold porcelin, he realized what it was.

The unicorn blood that he'd taken all those years ago, expelled from his body. He realized that there was an upside to this, besides all this hurling…he wasn't living a cursed half-life anymore. He smiled faintly, thinking of how thoughtful Severus was. All thoughts disappeared as he hurled again. It was going to be a long night.

--

Ron ran away from Harry as soon as he found out what the girls were planning on doing to the dark haired boy. "Traitor." Harry muttered darkly after him, watching the red head go. Hermoine just smiled, tugging Harry by the arm into the clothes store.

Soon enough, the girls were holding up shirts and pants to his chest, throwing piles of clothes into his arms, making him go through the torture of trying on clothes. He glared at them as much as he could, but the girls ignored it. Even Snape, who had passed through the store to get a pair of shoes, looked at him amusedly, shaking his head with a smug smirk.

**There it is. Hope you like. **


	3. Delicious Calculations

**Thanks for all the reviews everyone!**

**Chapter Three: Delicious Calculations**

Harry indeed caught the attentions of quite a number of students when he walked in wearing a new outfit of his the soonest chance he'd gotten, even with his messy hair and awful glasses. The girls had chosen well, sticking to dark colors that were more palatable to his coloring. Harry had drawn the line at leather and more outlandish fabrics, and still chose comfort over overt style. Whilst his clothes didn't look like he was swimming in them any longer, they were a bit snug, easy to move in, and covered most of his skin, which Harry liked. He didnt bother changing his hair or glasses, he didnt really care one way or the other.

After years of verbal abuse from the Dursely's, his self esteem wasn't the greatest, especially on his looks. It had been hard enough to get past the block when they'd called him stupid, and he'd only gotten past that when he'd started getting involved with the dark arts, something he'd excelled at.

The dark arts required quite a bit of control, much more than most wizards were able to handle, thus deeming it as dark arts by light wizards who looked at it with jealousy, something they would never be able to do.

Ron was ,fortunately, clueless about how dark his friends actually were. His mind stuck to quidditch and girls for the most part since fifth year, and his friends were fine with that. The less involved he was the better. Ron had a big mouth, but most of the time had good intentions.

Spring was in the air around the castle, and many of the seventh years were preparing for their NEWTS and graduation. Ron was counting down the days to the last quidditch game of the year against Slytherin, and Hermoine spent a lot of time either revising for her NEWTS or trying to figure out what kind of job she was going to go into.

Thus explains her frustration late one evening in the library. "There's too many choices!" She hissed, clutching her bushy brown hair between her fingers. "I like so many different things in magic, and there's so many opportunities for training…" She looked to Harry, who sat across from her, looking at her amusedly. "What?"

Harry slipped a finger to keep his place in his book, leaning forward. "Hermoine, you have nothing to worry about. The aurors will be practically begging you to join the force, or maybe the ministry…"

She narrowed her eyes, her lips going thin. "And what about you, Harry James Potter, haven't you decided?"

Harry chuckled. "I've gotten offers, but I'm not taking them. I've turned all of them down outright, except for one, and only that one I haven't turned down because he'd wonder why."

She cocked her head in a silent question, and Harry pressed on. "Dumbledore. He asked me to stay here next year as an apprentice." He whispered, ignoring how wide her eyes had gotten. "For Defense. Although it would be a good place, I'd always be under his nose, and I'd never get away from this place."

She looked thoughtful, looking down at the table, which was covered with their notes and books. "When will you give your answer?"

"Don't know. He will expect it this summer, at the latest, but he's already under the assumption I'll take it, since I'm the Golden Boy and all." They both chuckled softly.

She gave him a long look. "I assume you aren't going to be an auror either."

Harry shook his head, giving a short bitter laugh. "No ministry for me. They hate me there. No, I'll figure out something." He sighed, flipping through his book.

She gave him the tiniest of smiles. "Maybe you'll just stay at home and take care of things, waiting for the love of your life to come along and whisk you away…"

They both chuckled again, picking up their books, with Harry shaking his head. "Hardly. The day He and I are together, is the day that pigs fly…without transfiguration spells or charms." Harry added on, seeing the amused look she gave him.

--

Dumbledore sat at his desk, humming a little tune as he popped a lemon drop in his mouth. Fawkes twittered as he preened his golden feathers, the door to his office opened, showing Severus Snape.

"Severus. I'm glad you could come…no detentions set tonight?"

"No sir." Severus said, sitting down.

Albus' eyes twinkled. "Lemon drop?" Albus asked every time, but Severus always turned him down.

"No thank you sir."

"Very well then. To make this short, as I'm sure you have things to do-" At this, Severus nodded. "I would like for you to take on Miss Granger as your Potions apprentice once she graduates this year."

Severus' kept his jaw from dropping, only because he was so well trained. "Why?" He finally bit out, trying to keep calm.

Albus just smiled. "Harry is going to be apprenticed as the Defense Professor next year, and I thought it might be a good idea to have a friendly face around…"

Severus scowled. "That Longbottom boy is already being taken on by Pomona, he and Potter are friends-"

"Ah, but he and Miss Granger are so close. You cant deny that the girl is brilliant Severus…" Albus spoke with a smile.

Severus scowled at him, unable to say anything nice about her, he just crossed his arms. "I thought Potter was going to be an auror."

"Oh no, I asked him over the Christmas Holidays if he'd be interested in the job…"

"I'm surprised he hasn't told everyone." Snape cut in.

"Of course not, it would cause jealousy, would it not?" Albus said, popping in another sweet into his mouth.

Severus eyed the sweet with distaste. "No one is going to believe that I am willingly going to offer an apprenticeship to Miss Granger. She's a Gryffindor, a know-it-all, she has no finesse, and-"

"Now Severus, please at least offer. She may not accept. If she does not, you do not have to worry about it. I will not press the issue in any way."

Severus still glowered at him, knowing that the girl would hardly pass up an opportunity like this.

--

Voldemort stared at the mirror in his bathroom. Hair was finally starting to sprout on his head again, pure black, still extremely short, but that could be fixed with a hair growth charm easily. He frowned at seeing his scaly skin and snakelike eyes.

It was taking far too long for the changes to start, he was getting impatient. He was also getting sick of getting sick. He spent more time each morning throwing up than getting ready for the day. Luckily, his taste buds had changed recently, effected from the potions, so he could have a more…normal diet. He still had a taste for blood, but nearly as much as he used to before. At least he was eating his meat cooked now.

Severus had reassured him the sickness would go away once he'd finished the potions. He pulled on his bathrobe and slippers, grabbing his wand. He flicked it, lengthening it. The charm worked too well, making it grow at an alarming pace, in just a few seconds, it grew down to his ankles. He looked like Cousin It!

"Pettigrew, fetch me my scissors!" He screamed, his voice reverberating through the house, blinded by his hair.

--

"Miss Granger. Stay behind." Severus said tersely at the end of their next potions class. Harry and Hermoine exchanged a look, not unnoticed by the professor, and he barked out. "Potter, you can meet up with your little girlfriend later." Both students in question glared at him as many students started giggling and whispering as they all exited the classroom. Potter hesitantly paused by the doorway, but finally shut the door behind him.

Granger came towards him, hoisting her heavy bag on her shoulder, shifting slightly on her feet. Her hair was bushier than ever in the humid potions classroom, a bit of ink on her cheek from when she'd been writing notes earlier in the class.

"Miss Granger, let me be honest with you. Headmaster Dumbledore would like for me to offer you a position as an apprentice to me this coming year. I however, have reservations about it." He watched the girl's reaction carefully. A slight widening of eyes, an eyebrow lift, and a straightening of shoulders, all expected. What he did not expect was the calculating gleam in her eyes, or the clenched jaw and the tightening of fists.

"He wants Harry to have a friend here to help keep an eye on him, doesn't he?" She said quietly, almost to herself, but he caught it anyways. Her eyes flashed angrily. "I suppose you don't really want me to be your apprentice. He's using me, just like he's using you." She growled, shifting her bag on her shoulder. "No thanks." She said shortly, going to the door.

Severus watched her go, wondering why the Gryffindor girl, who was so enamored by most authority figures would be so upset with the Headmaster… "Wait." He called after her, mentally chastising himself for what he was about to do.

She turned slowly, visibly trying to keep calm. "Sir."

Severus took a deep breath. "And if I decided to apprentice you of my own volition?"

She gave him a small smile. "Perhaps. But I think it would take a lot to convince me." She gave him a challenging look, and walked out the door.

--

As Harry and Hermoine walked out onto the grounds after their last class, they blinked into the bright sunlight that shown on their faces. "So, what did want Snape want earlier?" Harry asked, shielding, his eyes.

Hermoine huffed. "Dumbledore's trying to put him up to apprenticing me. But why Professor Snape? I mean, what about Professor McGonagall or Flitwick? I think they'd be more amiable to whatever plans he's trying to make…"

They walked out to 'their' tree, setting down their bags. Hermoine let her legs go straight out, and Harry laid his head in her lap, letting her play with his messy hair as she thought this over. "So, you going to do it?" Harry asked, looking thoughtful.

"Of course not." Hermoine sniffed, rolling her eyes. "The Headmaster wants me to watch over you, but what's the point of me getting stuck here if you're not even going to be here?"

Harry just sighed. "It's a good opportunity Hermoine. At least consider it seriously. What did Snape say after you turned him down?"

She gave him the tiniest of smiles. "He asked me if I'd consider if he approached me for this out of his own volition, and not just because of the Headmaster. I said maybe."

They exchanged a look. "Do you think he'll talk to the Headmaster?" Harry asked softly.

Hermoine twisted a lock of his hair between her fingers with a sigh. "Don't think so. He doesn't seem like the type to go to him for everything…"

Harry sat up abruptly, blinking. Hermoine raised a brow. "What? Got an idea?"

Harry turned to her and smiled. "Yeah."

--

Luna flicked her wand, making the amorphous silver shape beneath it shift into a strange looking horse creature, warping the appendages into different lengths. It was nearly midnight, in the astronomy tower. In various other rooms of the tower, there were amorous couples, however, she used the place for other purposes.

She practiced magic up here. It was a good place to, and since she hid in the shadows, she could come upon couples and watch them secretly. Sometimes it wasn't just for lustful purposes that they were meeting, but other meetings that would need to be held in private. She learned quite a bit of information this way. However, the couple that stumbled into her room that night was there for the other reason. She doused her wand light immediately as she heard the door open, watching them fumble inside, closing the door behind them as they kissed.

She watched in somewhat detached interest as Malfoy and a fifth year girl snogged against the wall, pressing up against each other. She rolled her eyes at his crude handling of the girl, knowing he wouldn't get far. She went back to her magic, noting her form had gone shapeless once more. She vanished it, and kept to the shadows, watching.

It was a curious thing, love. Or lust, as she saw most often. She'd never experienced it herself, and often wondered what it would be like to be the object of someone's lust. She didn't care if she was loved romantically or not, Harry loved her, as did her father, that was enough for her. But she did wonder sometimes.

Without a doubt, she knew Malfoy didn't care for this girl, or she for him, they were just using each other. No romantic leanings in any way. She smiled in the darkness as the girl started to fight the blonde boy as he groped her, wanting more. He whispered into her ear, making her pull away and knee him in the groin. "Not in your life Malfoy. I'm not that stupid to go that far, my Mother would kill me…" The girl whispered, her eyes flashing. "Unless you'd like to talk to my parents about making arrangements…"

The blonde boy sneered. "Forget it." He said in a slightly higher pitch, bent forward in pain.

She rolled her eyes, adjusting her clothes and hair, and walked out of the room. Malfoy scowled at the door, muttering under his breath as he straightened up slowly, wincing.

Luna spoke up. "You'll never have a girl that way."

Malfoy whirled around, eyes wide, drawing his wand. He peered into the darkness, jumping slightly as Luna stepped out. "Lovegood, what are you doing here?" He said incredulously.

She smirked. "What I do all the time. Just watching others makes fools of themselves."

Malfoy glared at her, his wand twitching. "Give me one good reason not to hex you."

She rolled her eyes. "Is that all you can say? Merlin, you need to be a bit more creative…maybe that's why she left you." She chuckled, then eyed his wand. "However, if you want to duel to relieve your…frustrations, that's fine by me."

Malfoy raised a blonde eyebrow. "I don't think you could handle me."

She gave a high note of laughter, and with a mere wave of her hand, knocked him off of his feet. His jaw dropped in surprise, and he leant up on his elbows, watching her come close to him. "I think I can. Come on Malfoy. Duel me. I've got nothing better to do."

Malfoy shook his head, eyes wide. She'd done wandless magic! "You're crazy."

She gave him an amused look, and with a twist of her hand, her magic was pinning him down to the floor. Malfoy swallowed hard as he stared up at the ceiling, unsure as to what was happening. She stood next to his head, their eyes meeting as she looked down at him.

"Really? Do you think I don't know what people call me? Loony Lovegood…they don't even bother trying to hide it behind my back anymore…"She sat, sitting on his chest, straddling him, poking his forehead.

"You're just a silly"-poke- "little" -poke- "boy"- poke-, "determined to follow your father's footsteps and make the same mistakes he did." She sighed, meeting his silver eyes, lowering her hand from his forehead to his chest. Malfoy seemed frozen under her, wondering what on earth she was doing. In all honesty, Lovegood was scaring him a bit.

She flicked her wrist, her magic leaving his arms and legs. He sprang up, flipping them over on the floor, with her under him. "Don't do that ever again!" He hissed, eyes blazing. He hated it when someone could take advantage of him, even if she could do wandless magic.

She just gave him an amused smile. "Or what?" She wrapped her thin arms around his neck, wriggling underneath him. "Going to ravish me right here on this floor? Go ahead, I wont mind."

Malfoy scrambled away from her, grabbing his wand. "You're crazy."

She just smiled at him as he left the room. Her smile dropped as soon as he left.

--

--


	4. Deliciously Surprising

**Sorry for the delay in updates all around, the holidays are a crazy time of year for me. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews; everyone seems to love this story! Please review. I'll update faster. I promise! In the meantime, check out my other stories.**

**Deliciously Surprising**

"We need a human tester." Luna said quietly, frowning as she plucked blades of grass from the ground. She, Harry, and Hermoine were all gathered under the tree. After explaining to Hermoine what exactly they were doing, no they weren't torturing the poor elves, no, it wasn't going to traumatize them in anyway, and no, they had no evil plans for the poor creatures. After all that was settled, Hermoine seemed somewhat pleased that the two of them were helping the house elves, and would consent to any form of experimental study.

Hermoine hummed, and rolled onto her back, looking up through the branches of the tree. "We couldn't test on ourselves, could we? It might be dangerous."

Harry smiled slightly at this. "But it could be more interesting…"

"Shut it you, you and your thrill seeker ways…" Hermoine muttered, rolling her eyes.

Harry huffed at this, crossing his arms. "So…who would be stupid enough to consent to testing?"

"Ron?" Hermoine said immeadiately, turning over with a gleeful look on her face.

Luna giggled. "Don't look so eager Hermoine. You'll have your chance to torture him some other way someday."

Hermoine looked a bit put out.

Harry then added. "Anyways, he's got a big mouth."

"Who then?" Hermoine frowned, running a hand through her bushy hair.

Their plotting was interrupted by laughter nearby. All three students looked over in that direction, seeing Crabbe and Goyle tossing a bookbag over Neville's head, making the slightly chubby boy jump to get it. "Guys! Come on!"

Harry smiled. "I'll be right back, girls." He drew his wand, standing.

Hermoine and Luna exchanged a look as Harry went to help Neville. "Neville?" Hermoine asked, raising a brow.

Luna shrugged. "Why not? He's pretty loyal to Harry. Most people ignore him if they're not teasing him, and he isnt a complete failure anymore, you know."

Hermoine gave her a disapproving look as the boys came back, Neville with his bookbag in hands, a pleased look on his flushed face as they walked away from the twitching forms of Crabbe and Goyle.

Harry sat back in his place, and Neville sat down next to Harry. "Hey Luna…Hermoine." Neville said shyly.

"Neville. You okay?" Hermoine asked, looking concerned.

"I'm fine." He said quietly, setting his bookbag down. "Thanks to Harry here." He gave said boy a grateful look.

"Hey Nev, I was thinking of a project we could do. Maybe you'd like to help us out."

Neville's face shone at Harry's suggestion. "Really? Is it like the DA? I thought you weren't doing that anymore Harry."

Harry patted Neville's hand in a friendly way. "No, it's something the girls and I have been working on. If you could help us, that would be great."

"Sure Harry, what can I do?" Was Neville's enthusiastic reply.

Luna smiled. It was so easy to manipulate people sometimes.

"Well, we're trying to work on the nature of magic. We've been testing on the house elves, and we need to test on a wizard." Hermoine said in her best lecture voice. "It has been helping the house elves' magic get stronger, and we're strengthening some of their abilities…we just wanted to see if it would work on a human…"

Neville gaped.

Hermoine pressed on. "It won't hurt you, we're just going to do some tests on you, we wont do it if you don't want us to…"

Neville swallowed. "I don't know…what if you make a mistake…and I don't have any magic left? I don't have much to begin with…" Neville protested feebly.

"Nonsense. You're a powerful wizard Nev, you held up alright at the DOM, didn't you? And have you ever seen Hermoine make a mistake?" Harry said with a smile.

Neville sighed. "That's true." He sighed. "Okay. I'm in."

He was immediately glomped by the two girls, and Harry grinned broadly at him.

-

Draco Malfoy frowned from the other side of the tree, having listened to the conversation that had been held. He knew manipulation when he heard it, and he knew dark magic when he heard it. Manipulation of magical cores were definitely dark magic.

He didn't know if he should be disturbed that the Golden Boy and his cronies weren't so golden after all. He shivered as he remembered his rendezvous with Lovegood in the astronomy tower. It hadnt been far from his mind since it had occurred. Now he was convinced that she was crazy, and it had spread to the goody-goody Gryffindors.

He listened in on their plans silently, marveling at the complexity of magic they were trying to accomplish. If they were correct…he felt a little bad for treating his house elves the way he had for years. He was just glad that most house elves' dispositions were cheerful and happy, and were glad to help wizards instead of opposing them.

A part of him felt like they might fail at increasing Longbottom's magic, but another part of him feared it might actually come true, knowing Potter's luck at this sort of thing. He shook his head, disillusioning himself and walked back to the castle.

-

Voldemort looked at his reflection in his hand mirror with a smile. His smile immediately faded upon seeing his sharp teeth, remnants of his serpentine appearance. His scaly skin had finally gone, after a painful shedding, and his hair was perfectly coifed. He admired it for a moment before returning to look at his servants.

Bellatrix and Pettigrew, both kneeling at his feet. Bellatrix was giving him a lustful look, drinking in his new looks, and Pettigrew was trembling like the rat he was. He looked over them both thoughtfully. Who would Potter enjoy more as a graduation gift?

Pettigrew, whom betrayed his parents, leading them to their death, a perfect example of Gryffindor weakness? Or Bellatrix, the woman who'd caused the Dogfather's death in front of him? Personally, he didn't like either of them, but they both had their uses in some way. But as time went on, their use was waning.

Bellatrix was always causing a rucus with the prisoners, killing them before they had a chance to tell all and beg for mercy. Not useful. Pettigrew was just an idiot. Oh, how he wished Severus didn't have to teach those brats at the school.

-

Severus stared at his Godson incredulously. "You must have heard wrong. Potter and his little syncopants would never even dream of doing magical core manipulation if their lives depended on it."

Draco huffed. "I'm telling you the truth. I over heard them trying to convince Longbottom to be their tester. They've been experimenting with the house elves for ages, apparently those little buggers like it or something."

Severus twitched. Draco was obviously on something, to think the Golden boy could do dark magic like this.

"Sev, I'm telling you the truth! Just check some of the house elves out, please? At least check out that Dobby one, I know Potter's best friends with it or something…"

Severus ground his teeth. "Did you think that maybe those little house elves could alert Potter and his little friends that I've been poking around there."

Draco paused. "Um…well…you could just make them vow not to tell! That's right!"

Severus just gave him a look.

Draco pressed on. "Lovegood was with them, and you know she's insane!"

Severus just raised an eyebrow. "Fine. I'll check a few out, then obliviate them. Leave."

After his godson left, Severus scowled at his desk, at the stupid parchments he had to grade, at his stupid grading quill, at the stupid vials of his precious potions…he sighed. Why did he stay here? That's right. On orders of one Dark Lord and a meddling old man.

He needed a drink.

--

Harry ran a hand through his hair roughly. "Dumblefuck has gone too far." He growled. Neville was floating in a middle of a casting circle, a pale blue glow coming from his body, the light reflecting off of two pale witches on either side of him.

"Harry…"

"No! We've got to fix Nev and tell him the truth."

"But-"

"He deserves to know." Harry said with finality, making Hermoine sigh. Luna watched them both in silence, then looked down at the unconscious Neville. She waved a hand, making the blue glow disappear as Neville fell back to the floor.

Neville groaned, rubbing his head. "Well? Is it over?"

"No." Luna said softly.

"How do you feel?" Hermoine asked.

"Fine…that spell just tickled a bit." Neville said with a shrug, looking to Harry. "Harry? What happened?"

"You've got a bind on your magical core."

Neville frowned. "Okay…."

Hermoine huffed. "That means someone messed with your magic. It looks like it's been there a while…we recognized the signature Nev…it's Dumbledore." She said quietly, looking at him worriedly.

Neville sat there in shock for a moment. Harry sat down beside him. "I think I need to be checked for it too."

--

Severus Snape stalked his way through the corridor, intent on finding the classroom where he knew the brats would be. After looking at the house elves' levels of magic, he was alarmed to see that his Godson was not lying. Part of him wanted to applaud those stupid little Gryffindors for managing to find a way to increase House Elves' magic, another part of him wanted to berate them for not finding a way to conceal their magical signatures while doing so.

He felt a tremble through the hall, and followed it, hurrying his steps. Hopefully Longbottom wasn't dead by the time he got there. He found the door and slammed it open, jaw dropping shock at Granger, Lovegood, and Longbottom surrounding a floating Potter, who was glowing a brilliant white.

They all turned and gasped as they saw him, making Potter drop to the floor. Potter cried out, sitting up slowly. "Well? What did you see-" He trailed off as he saw the Professor there.

"Stupid boy, forget to ward the door." Severus sneered, closing the door behind him. "You're lucky you aren't dead!"

The students stared at the man as he kneeled by the floor, immersed in the rune markings in the revealing circle. Lovegood and Potter exchanged a look, and Granger blinked.

"Sir?"

Severus looked up, sort of out of it, his mind still going a mile a minute about the runes he'd just seen. "What is it Granger?" He snapped.

"Are-arent you going to report us?" She asked timidly.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Like anyone would believe me anyways." He went back to studying the runes. "Who drew these?"

"I did. Hermoine helped." Lovegood said softly.

Longbottom looked really confused about all of this. Perhaps the other three didn't tell the boy what they were doing was extremely dark magic?

"What did you find out?"

"Dumbeldore bound part of my magic. Neville's too." Potter said quietly, watching him closely. Their eyes met, and Snape couldn't help but shiver. The boy was furious with the headmaster, and rightly so. "Did you know?"

"No." Snape said softly, looking down at the runes once more.

"Are you going to tell him?" Granger asked, fingering her wand. Potter lowered her arm. Severus eyed the wand for a moment, knowing Granger would have tried to obliviate him. Who knew how many times the girl, and the others, probably used that spell if this was the kind of magic they experimented with.

"He won't." Lovegood said, looking very sure of herself.

"How do you know?" Longbottom blurted, clapping his hand over his mouth.

Lovegood just smiled in his direction. "He's a Prince. I don't think he would. Sir, if you are worried about our protections, perhaps you can help us next time."

Potter and Granger looked at her incredulously. Severus stared at the girl. "There is no next time. You could have blown yourselves up if you made the smallest mistake, perhaps even the school. You will not be experimenting with this here." He growled, standing up. He brushed himself off with a frown.

"Ten points each for being out after curfew, and all of you will serve detention with me. Now go." He snapped.

-

"You knew?!"

"I didn't know he was in so deep into the dark arts, but yes, I knew he was practicing them." Voldemort said easily, going through his wardrobe. "Red or Black?" He held out two robes to the dark haired man.

"Black." Severus replied distractedly. "But if those foolish brats were caught…"

"But they weren't. And you're going to help them so they wont get caught again." Voldemort said, taking off his shirt.

"Why?"

"I would like to see what direction this is heading in." Voldemort said idly as he started to unbutton his pants. Severus was still in the doorway. "If you intend to have a peep show, at least come in a close the door Severus."

Severus cleared his throat. "Sorry sir. I have to go back to the school."

"Fine. Don't forget the next set of potions when you come back, Severus."

"Yes Sir."

-

**Yay! Another update. I hope you're pleased. Xoxoxo with cookies on top. **


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